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responsibility to tell the other women of
your decision.
Unless you are a masochist or have zero empathy, you will
feel horrible about this. Do you remember what its like to
break up with a girlfriend? Well, think about breaking up
with a number of women at the same time. Ouch.
You don’t need to contact all two hundred women at the
social that you went to. Probably most of them have
survived the blow of your not calling them right after the
social.
But if you dated a number of women fairly seriously, you
definitely have to deliver the news to them. It’s the
right thing to do.
The best way to deliver your message is in person, but if
that’s not possible, by telephone.
You probably remember receiving a “Dear John” letter
in your life. It didn’t feel very good, did it?
There is no good way to do this, but there are plenty of
bad ways. One is to take the coward’s way out and just
don’t call or tell them.
The other is a general announcement issued like a
proclamation. Worse than a “Dear John” letter is one
addressed “To Whom It May Concern.”
How would you feel if you got the bad news delivered by
post card that had the news written on it so that everyone
could read it.
How would you feel if you received a photocopy of a typed
pro forma “Dear John” letter with your name written in
next to the salutation, “Dear __________.”
What a personal touch!
Yes, I have heard of cretins doing this and worse.
Another less than satisfactory method is to tell the
marriage agency personnel to deliver the message for you.
This is almost as bad as “To Whom It May Concern.”
Sometimes it is difficult to handle these situations
properly. For one, you usually have limited time while
traveling and don’t have the time to handle all the
situations in the ideal manner you would like.
But make the effort to deliver the message the best way
you can, as painful as it may be. It’s part of your
responsibility in this process. You don’t get to dance
all night without paying the fiddler.
The bottom line is ‘do unto others as you would have
others do unto you.’ The Golden Rule.
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